I haven’t been posting everyday like I said I would. Bad me. But now, it’s a three-day weekend. So hopefully I’ll be able to catch up.
As you may or may not know, my wife is pregnant. Really pregnant. And soon, I’m gonna be a Daddy.
And that freaks me out.
Will he be cool?
Will he be smart?
Should I get him a foam helmet and wrap him in bubble-wrap to keep him safe?
What if I damage him?
What if I paint his room the wrong color and mess him up for life (babies love black, right?)?
What if the sorting hat puts him in Slytherin?
What if he says the new Star Wars Trilogy is better than the old one?
Ok, I’m not actually worried about that last one, if only because I know what I will have to do. I will have to disown him unless he renounces his blasphemies.
But really, this is some serious stuff, this whole ‘having a baby’ business. What if I don’t do it right?
It’s not that I’m stupid, or a simpleton. But sometimes I’m an idiot, and the other times I’m a bumbling oaf – and I’m going to be in charge of someone else’s life?
Very soon we’ll be moving into our new place, and there will be lots of things for me to do – painting, wallpapering, assembling baby stuff, baby-proofing the apartment…
But for now it’s just working our way through the checklist of baby purchases that my wife seems to be keeping track of in her head and a lot of me nodding and saying ok.
Somehow, it still doesn’t feel terribly real to me – I’m hoping that will change when I have a baby room to get ready.
It should be real, right? I can see my wife ballooning up, I’ve seen the sonograms, and when I put my hand on her stomach, sometimes I can feel a little boom as he kicks.
But most of the time, I don’t feel anything, and what I do feel doesn’t feel like a baby. I’m wondering if that makes me a bad daddy, but it just doesn’t sink in for me that we’re going to have a child. I know it with the logical part of my brain, but the rest of me hasn’t made the switch to ‘Daddy mode’. When is that supposed to happen?